Single On Valentine’s Day

Single on the day that celebrates Love. I see so many people talking about being sad because they are single or people that hate Valentine’s Day for a wealth of different reasons: it’s a commercialized holiday, you should celebrate and love your partner every day, people that have been alone for a long time and are sad, lonely and angry etc. etc. Here’s my perspective.

Any way that you feel is okay, and it’s okay to express that. It’s your right, in fact.

I understand. I’ve thought about all the passionate expressions of opinions about Valentine’s Day. I get the perspective from each.

I too, have my own opinions. I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day. Hell, I got married on it once. I’m a diehard romantic, what can I say. Just because I am single on this one doesn’t mean I will be next year or that I hate the holiday this time around. I still believe in marriage too, even though I am divorced.

How do you get through if you are single and wish you weren’t? Recognize this is one day. The older you get, the shorter the days become. This one will be over before you know it. Do something constructive with your day that celebrates love. That could mean spending time with your children if you’re a single parent. Children give us free unconditional love for so many years. Eat it up while you have it. Celebrate YOURSELF. You are beautiful and you are unique and you are special. The mold was broken when you were born. There isn’t another one of you ANYWHERE. There is a lid for every pot. Try to think about people out there that may be even lonelier than yourself. Visit a home for the elderly and you’ll know what I am talking about. Head to the local animal shelter and walk a dog that’s dying for some love and attention. ¬†Express yourself through art. Crayons, paints, a dreamboard collage, pound out some playdough. CREATE. Get in touch with nature. Okay, I will admit, this is one of the coldest Valentine’s on record, at least in the Northeast, so maybe today isn’t the best day for a walk in the woods unless you are really bundled up. Take some pictures from your window. Appreciate beauty. It’s in the smallest twig and blade of grass. MOVE. Don’t lie around feeling depressed, at least not all day. If you are feeling sorry for yourself, allow yourself a certain amount of time to really indulge in those feelings, then move on. Cry and scream in your pillow for ten minutes, take a thirty minute nap, whatever you need. Then take a shower or bath and get moving. I’m not saying a movie or book is a bad idea today and maybe that’s what you need to treat yourself, just don’t give in to feeling sorry for yourself for too long. If long-standing depression (not situational) is an issue for you, seek out the help you’ve been putting off, most likely BECAUSE of your depression. Help CAN help, trust me on this. If you need someone to talk to today because of deep depression call a suicide hotline. No one will know other than you and the person on the receiving end, so you don’t have to worry about any stigma attached to it. Exercise. Endorphins provide a natural “high” and whatever type of workout you like, there’s a free youtube video out there to guide you through it. Even if your depression is situational, seek out some help. At least having one person to talk to on a regular basis about your problems can be helpful. If you’re single and can afford it, go out and buy YOURSELF the gifts you wish you were getting. If you want flowers or chocolates or jewelry or lingerie or champagne or even just a card describing how AMAZING you are….GO GET IT. If you don’t have that deep love for yourself that believes you deserve all these things then the only way to build it is to start somewhere, anywhere. Treat yourself in the loving, kind, generous way that you deserve. If you are partnered up but didn’t get what you’re hoping for, do this too. Masturbate. If you’ve lost touch with your own sexuality, make some time today to find your way back to your own sexual self-love. If you really don’t want to be single, then figure out how to attract love into your life. Tackle it like you would any problem. Learn about yourself and really understand the mistakes you’ve made in past relatonships or choices in partners. Research and learn about how to attract love into your life. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. However you think is a good way to meet people for you, DO that. When you’re feeling good, reach out to someone that may not be. Misery may love company but I bet it loves a good laugh even more. Don’t contact your ex. If they wanted you? They’d be contacting you. You deserve someone that would walk through a wall of fire to have you.

There’s enough hate in the world. Let’s not bash a day bent on celebrating the love.

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